screams and swells.

If the ocean is cooperative, there’s something especially cathartic about being slammed by huge waves when you need to expel some negative energy and get back to vibrating on a more pleasant frequency. There’s no working around a wave – you either have to swim under it, try to jump over it, or choose to let it carry you. When life presents you with situations where all you can do is wait or do nothing at all, it’s nice sometimes to have a force bigger and stronger than you provide you with a channel for what you’re feeling. I wish I was still small enough for boogie boarding to be fun (in retrospect, transitioning into surfing would have been a natural choice, don’t know why that didn’t occur to me around age 13) because I could spend hours in the water waiting for perfect waves to keep rolling towards me.

I like to funnel energy into things. At school, where there are nice paths lit up at night and constantly changing playlists of music with bass, running does the trick. Other times, there’s nothing better than spilling it on to six or eight pages in a rambling, self-indulgent stream of consciousness and complaint, ending on a brighter note with lists of the things I’m grateful to have in my life. Recently I’ve been on this Kundalini yoga kick and we did an exercise which combined a pose with screaming as much as we wanted to, letting out whatever we were carrying with us. Between the waves and the shouting, it’s been a very relaxing transition back to Rhode Island.


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